Rediscovering the Outside to Find Myself Within

There was a time when I used to write more. I used to take the time to think and put down what was on my mind—reflections, observations, and even funny stories. For some reason, I don’t do it as often anymore. It seems my mind has shut down and no longer has those thoughts, or maybe I do. Still, there is no time. Where does time go?

Multiple sounds, lights, colours, vibrations, so many distractions, videos, apps, information, notifications, emails, news, screens, and infinite ways to be contactable, taken, and absorbed—It overwhelms, exhausts, depletes, and locks me in. There is no space to get out of it, to reflect, contemplate, and observe where life is guiding me.

Too much time inside, reacting, doubting, judging, wrapped in selfish thoughts—too much time spent watching myself, fixating on my flaws. Inside, there are infinite ways to waste time—or maybe not; sometimes, the inside can be a beautiful labyrinth, too, as long as I know the way out

Once outside, I can use my senses to simply let myself feel the soft touch of the green moss stick to the stones, feel the cold drops of rain on my skin, and close my eyes to sense the soft breeze of the sea; outside, I can hear the autumn leaves rattle on the floor as I walk, the cat purring, the guitar playing at the end of the street; outside I smell the coffee brewing that brings me back home memories of my grandma in the morning, the aroma of freshly baked bread and the petrichor on a hot day after a refreshing rain. Outside, I will slowly learn to focus on the world's beauty and give less importance to my self-absorbed thoughts.

Outside this maze lies growth and life—moments of beauty, wonder, quiet admiration, real awe. I miss my outside. Let’s see if I can get out and relearn how to watch the seasons die and be reborn with the same eyes of a curious child as I did before.

Let the outside breathe life back into us ✨❤️

With love,

Marisa☁️