Breaking the Cage: A Journey Through Pain, Art, and Hope

After some changes in my life, a tough breakup that left me doubting on myself, I was struggling to find my true self in all this turmoil, and as a way to calm my mind I started working into my art projects (those I only dream but never actually felf confident to start), drawing, painting, colouring, watercolours, to find a sense of me somehow, find a purpose doing what I like most.

On a lovely weekend getaway in France, I had dinner with my dear friend Dayane; during our meal, many things happened; we talked and chatted, shared ideas and dreams, inspired each other, and it was beautiful; we could not avoid seeing the couple beside us; the woman had an iPad, and she was drawing a bird inside a cage, it was delightful how easy it was for her to create such a piece. As I dined and talked to my friend, I couldn’t avoid watching the woman’s iPad drawing of a bird in a cage; I couldn’t help but feel connected to that bird. Trapped by my insecurities, I longed to break free and create something beautiful on a canvas and in my life. Little did I know that my journey with digital art would not only unlock a new world of creativity but also remind me of the people who have been my wings all along—my friends.

After I arrived back in London, back in my cage, I started researching and watching videos online. In a matter of days, I broke the piggy bank and got myself an iPad and an Apple pen. I started watching and doing tutorials to learn the program, how to use it best, techniques, brushes, and pallets, I was super excited. I was fully submerged in this, like suddenly entering another world of making cute things. Recently, I decided to learn how to transform photos into drawings and picked a picture of myself with a dear friend, Marianna. Her birthday was coming, and I struggled to do something special for her, so a drawing of us was just the perfect idea. And as I worked on it, I realised there was so much more to this picture than just the lines and colours I created.

When I drew the picture of Marianna and me, it wasn’t just a gift for her birthday. It reflected everything she and others have brought into my life: light, love, and the strength to rise after falling. That drawing became more than just art; it symbolised the connections that helped me see myself clearly again.

I remember the day she took the picture. Marianna and I had a heartfelt conversation in the Poetry Pharmacy cafe in London. We shared tiers, talked over coffee and cake, went shopping, and she took pictures of us. A day that might seem simple for some, but it made a massive difference in my life. This picture has reminded me how fortunate I am to have found family everywhere I go, including my friends. It doesn't matter if they live in London, Dublin, Brussels, Germany, Argentina, Colombia, Venezuela, or beyond. I am blessed that there are people who light up my life when I am most down.

We all go through tough moments in lifetimes when everything seems to be falling apart, and it's easy to feel like you're all alone. That's exactly how I did not feel during my breakup, all thanks to Marianna. Not because she was the only one there with me; I had many people accompanying me in close proximity to far distances. What made the difference was what Marianna once told me; although something simple, it changed my life completely.

In March this year, I had to go through surgery. I had a big lump in my right breast that needed to be removed; it was not cancer, but it was overgrown, and it was best to remove it. I had never had surgery before, and I was a bit nervous, but I knew all would be fine. I was willing to go alone to the hospital as the independent person that I am, but the doctors told me that someone needed to be there to collect me; my boyfriend was not here as the date of the surgery was precisely when he was away. (Now, I know he would not have been there for me either way).

To give a bit of context, I am a Venezuelan living in London. I have been away in Europe for many years now; my family is back in Venezuela, and in moments like this one, it is tough not having a family to be there with you. But you get used to it! So I wasn't expected to ask anyone to be with me. However, If I didn't have anyone to accompany me, the surgery could not proceed. I am sure I am not the only one in this situation; there are many people like me, and you understand the feeling; being so far away from home sometimes can feel tiring, tiring to be alone and not having close support to you, we only rely on friends.

I was terrified to ask my friends to collect me; I felt like a burden and did not know what to do. During a date with my friend Lorena, I told her about the surgery, and she offered to be there for me. She saved my life, as I didn't even have to ask. The day of the surgery, Lorena was there for me all day; she was like a mother and accompanied me to my house until she knew I was safe. I felt fortunate to have her.

After my recovery was over, I informed my other friends I had the surgery and that I was okay they had nothing to worry about. Marianna was slightly disappointed and said, " I would have liked to be there for you; I would have liked to have had the opportunity to visit you and bring you a brownie" (something not even my boyfriend did!). At that moment, I understood; I got it because I would have liked to be informed if they had surgery too; I would have wanted to know, to do something for them. Marianna taught me that it is okay to reach out. She reminded me we can give freely and be loving and vulnerable with friends. This experience taught me the importance of communication and vulnerability in friendships and how asking for help is okay.

A few months after the surgery, when my relationship fell apart, I felt an unbearable pain that I was unable to sustain alone; after a few hours, I decided to reach out. I told all my friends what happened and said, "I need your support right now, " something I have never done in my entire life. It was the best thing that I could have done; I was never left alone; I felt the love I never felt in my relationship, and thanks to them, I learned my value; I could pick myself up and realise everything I have gone through and done in this life, I realised that I was always seen, not for a man but for my dearest friends.

This post isn’t just about learning digital art or how my wonderful friends help me every day, Dayane’s inspiration, Lorena’s care, and Marianna’s empathy. It’s about discovering the courage to ask for help, the beauty of vulnerability, and the power of love in unexpected places. I searched for validation in a relationship that left me feeling unseen. But the truth is, I was always seen—by my friends, my family, and even by myself when I allowed my creativity to shine.

Today, as I explore this new world of digital art, I’m not just creating drawings. I’m creating hope. Each face, line, and colour I draw reminds me of the people who stood by me and the light they brought into my life.

I no longer feel like the bird in the cage. I am free—free to ask for help, free to give love, and free to be unapologetically myself. And for that, I am endlessly grateful.✨